unpredictable?

when i am 17, i dont know i will end my secondary so fast.
when i am 18, i dont know that i gonna be so superb far to study.
when i am 19, i dont know that i have meet a bunch of good frens that really will care about me and even didnt leave me when i need them. And get break up so badly sadly.
when i am 20, i dont know that i have lose again on my bet and i force to leave them. and so i meet another bunch of frens, that will do the same, and even more. much more...
when i am 21, i am so guilty that i have done something wrong to a place that brings me frens, happiness, expirience, even wish.

now, i will face the unpredictable things that gonna come soon.
new place for me, new task for me, new ppl for me, but old me. memories is always in your mind, so i will let the histories tells me what is next.
new fren old buddies, new class old school, old me but new mind. BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!

there is alot of unpredictable things happen in my life, but when there is everything predictable, what do i live for??

Guilty

I didnt break the law but i did a moral wrong. i study these before in my certificate level. but i did it. i am so freakin sohai to being unhonest when i know i maybe cant take the consequences. so now i got nowhere to run but just try my luck.
i try my luck even bet on it since i am small, it is stupid but when your luck brings you to what you wan or bet for; you will try it again. Again. things started to change when i bet it on something big. i bet my luck that after i take my spm, i leave my school. in my school form 6 is a must or no you cant get your graduate cert'. i bet my luck on it and so, i lose. i fail my BM and so college dont accept me. until i get through to tarc studied for the cert' level 4, i bet again. i bet that i can continue without wasting a year of waiting to repost my BM result to school. i fail.
now, i bet again. If i win, i will not do this again! If i lose, i must take the consequences and i will not try to bet my luck on anything anymore. it is dangerous and it is stupid. i feel so guilty and now bcame so scared. i dont want to lost my reputation and i dont want others to think that i am such a person but thou, i am cos i did it. and i dont want to let my parents remind something bad that what i have did before. it is something small to others. but it is big for me...
now i can only hope, and wish...