Guilty

I didnt break the law but i did a moral wrong. i study these before in my certificate level. but i did it. i am so freakin sohai to being unhonest when i know i maybe cant take the consequences. so now i got nowhere to run but just try my luck.
i try my luck even bet on it since i am small, it is stupid but when your luck brings you to what you wan or bet for; you will try it again. Again. things started to change when i bet it on something big. i bet my luck that after i take my spm, i leave my school. in my school form 6 is a must or no you cant get your graduate cert'. i bet my luck on it and so, i lose. i fail my BM and so college dont accept me. until i get through to tarc studied for the cert' level 4, i bet again. i bet that i can continue without wasting a year of waiting to repost my BM result to school. i fail.
now, i bet again. If i win, i will not do this again! If i lose, i must take the consequences and i will not try to bet my luck on anything anymore. it is dangerous and it is stupid. i feel so guilty and now bcame so scared. i dont want to lost my reputation and i dont want others to think that i am such a person but thou, i am cos i did it. and i dont want to let my parents remind something bad that what i have did before. it is something small to others. but it is big for me...
now i can only hope, and wish...